bliss…it doesn’t take much

I made them a fort on my bed.

The boys were not happy with the fabric choices, but they got over it. My room. Boys are allowed. No Star Wars sheets allowed.

ISO 500, 1/80, f/2.8    –   ISO 1000, 1/200, f/2.8

I watched August Rush recently, hadn’t seen it since it came out in 2007. The scene where the mom is at the court house and they ask her the name of her son…she says “I don’t know.” And then yelled at them “I don’t care about your process!” She knew her son was out there and she would fight to find him. I want to yell that a lot these days. We are still waiting on approval of one stinking form (our I800A) in order to be able to mail all of our stuff (our dossier) to our agency, who will get a bunch of legal seals and such and then send it to China. One crazy form. All I wanted for Christmas was to be “DTC” (Dossier to China). That is not looking possible. I’m holding out hope that we will at least get to mail our dossier to our agency before the end of the year.

I know it sounds crazy to some to be consumed with love for a child that I don’t have a name or face for, but that is the case. This wait. This unknown. This wondering where my little one is…alone? fed? safe? seen?……nothing could have prepared me for this.

So, I’m waiting. Still waiting. In the wait, I will sow the tears of separation. I’ll find ways to celebrate the bliss of today and beg God that soon I’ll be singing a new song of joy.

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