Nothing but reading books and jump dives on a bunch of outdoor pillows. Slow. Just being…together.
Why is slowing down so hard? My To-Do lists have To-Do lists on them. I could fill far more than 24 hours a day trying to get it all done. It will never be all done. There will always be something waiting for my attention. There will always be one more thing to check off. There will always be the things of life screaming at me to get them accomplished. There will always be an unanswered email and a message on my phone waiting for a response. But does it really matter? So, an email goes unanswered for a week and a stranger gets frustrated with me. But if it went unanswered because I was slowing down, not hurrying through life so I can soak up this moment as a mom – a stranger’s frustration seems so small. Yet, I typically choose to answer ‘one more email’ and tell those little ones ‘just one more minute’….yuck.
There will not always be 4 little ones wanting nothing more than my undivided attention. Not the half attention that has one ear listening to their jedi stories and the other ear hearing the beep on my phone. They want me. Their demands can often feel so big and unending, but when I step back….it is pretty simple. They just want their mommy. They won’t always be running crazy at my feet. They won’t always beg for one more story or playing chase on the trampoline. God has given me the greatest gift – He has given me ‘now’. I may fail at a lot of things in life, but being here now with them – I want to get that one thing right. So, today I’ll try again. I’ll fail at it over and over…but I won’t give up. I’ll fight for it because they are worth it. I hope and pray I savor it and live fully in it…..you know the way you breathe in that sweet newborn smell begging God to never let you forget it. I want that intensity to live slow…..